a little less than a year ago, i was looking down at the world from the peaks of the himalayas. the narrow and windy road up the mountain was, to say the very least, rough and laboring. but when i reached the top i thought, at last! i've made it! and with a smile, i gazed down at the breath-taking view and my accomplishments.

but then i looked up and saw mt. everest looming in the distance. and so i thought, i've done little and have seen nothing yet. i must continue on to new heights.

"The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are."

even if i didn't have crazy cat hair allergies, i'd still prefer dogs. i LOVE dogs! they're so cute and simple. a coworker fwded this to me today and i think i laughed for like an hour. and then i went to go give my dog a big hug.

The Dog's Diary:

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

The Cat's Diary:

Day 983 of My Captivity...
   My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
   The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!
   There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
   Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
   I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...

i seriously need to stop drinking energy drinks on an empty stomach. yesterday i downed 3 rockstars while pulling an all-nighter, and as a result spent a good part of the morning with my ass-cheeks planted on the toilet. it's some potent stuff, that liquid energy.

i find it incredibly irritating having to walk behind a smoker. there are very few things more repulsive than having a gust of cigarette smoke blown into my face. kind of makes me wanna run ahead and fart like crazy, see how they like the toxicity.

for lunch today i had beef & broccoli with some asian stir-fry noodles. it's strange how our taste buds evolve over time. like most kids i hated [consuming] all things green, of course with the exception of sour apple flavored candies and the like. but i absolutely love broccoli now. in fact, i think i might have enjoyed it even more than the beef, which is a crazy thing for a carnivore like me to say. ask my mom.

i've been awake now for almost 48 hours, and i should really get some sleep. i remember awhile ago a friend of mine pulled 3 consecutive all-nighters during finals week and emerged with ssang kah pool (double eyelids) after testing was over. and it stayed. she used to joke how she saved her parents several thousand dollars in surgery cost (haha, oh silly korean girls). now, i'd never in my right mind go and get ssang kah pool done under the knife. but i mean, it wouldn't hurt to have bigger eyes, right? haha... but alas i don't think it's meant to be. regardless of how tired i get, or how many hours i stay up, the damn fat in my eyelids is here to stay.

whatevs... off to bed i go.

but before i do, if you aren't watching the bachelor (on abc) you're totally missing out. i am dead serious, jump on it. the show is just fantastic! and by fantastic i mean absolutely terrible. like one of those insane car accidents you see on the freeway that involves 8 cars – half of them flipped over, another on fire, and the last three crumpled up like tin foil. you know you're not supposed to, but you just can't help but slow down and watch.